What a pickle !

It is not often that I panic. The threat of Tsunami, Global warming, Chemical warfare are all greeted with a shrug and a ' Ce la vie' attitude but I found myself in Sainsbury's yesterday, standing forlornly in aisle 22, looking up and down the top shelves (on top of the frozen veg) desperately looking for the one product that keeps my fragile little world glued together. It wasn't there ! ... I paced back and forth like a caged tiger, unable to believe that it was true, I double checked , triple checked, I even moved other inferior products aside to see if my jar had nestled behind the less worthy. No ! No ! No ! I screamed and fell to the ground, beating my fists on the floor and kicking my legs in the manner of a two year old having a tantrum about not being allowed to destroy the water biscuits. I filled my aching lungs and in a bellow that I am sure could be heard in the next supermarket I screamed the only demand that was left to me

"BRING OUT THE BRANSTON !!"


Silence.
All the tills stopped bleeping.
Then a security radio crackled ...

"we've got another one, aisle 22, crash team go go go ... "

I bought a substitute, a product call 'Bartons sweet pickle'
It was no substitute
Like methadone
just a stop gap

Premier foods I implore you. Please sort the factory out !!